Tag: Confidence

body image, Confidence, Eating Disorders, Introvert

She Went for a Run

smithmandyjordan

A friend of mine just told me she just finished up a run.

I immediately felt guilt and although I’ve already been to a barre class and walked the dog today, I wanted to do more.

I wanted to go for a run.

Immediately.

runningBut I know that it’s impossible cause my kids are home and it’s a crazy thought. Ok, so maybe not a super crazy thought because I do love a runner’s high, those endorphins would kick in and I’d be ultra motivated for the few hours following a short s30 min run. But…why? There are only so many hours in the day and I have stuff to do. Like work. Like spend time with my kids while they are on Spring Break. Instead, I feel the urge to run and the annoyance that I can’t.

So I will type through this. Pegging the keyboard just as fast as I can to get these thoughts out. Maybe so you know what it feels like, maybe so you, too, can see you’re not alone in these “crazy,” obsessive, or guilty thoughts, or maybe just because this is my therapy.

Here’s what I know: I don’t need to run. Sure, I’d be ok if I did and I’d experience those endorphins and love every minute, but since I can’t, it’s boing to be ok. The calories that I’m not going to burn…well, who knows, but they can wait. They are much less important than working through, sitting with my own obsessions, my own insecurities, and my own issues.

I’ve typed. and now I’m going to sit. Practice learning to sit. And wait, and see what it is that I need to work though, what emotions, I’m trying to control and suppress.

I’m going to sit.

and not run.

I’m not going to move.

and it’s going to be ok.

You will be ok, too.

body image, Confidence, Introvert, Networking

Who am I?

smithmandyjordan

Like I mentioned, I’ve been meaning to blog…well, for a while. First blog written, lots of drafts ready, but first (well, 2nd)…maybe who I am and what I do would give you a better indication of whether or not you want to join me all, some or none of the time here in the blogosphere.

This is me.

Mandy8

I’m Mandy.

  • a wife
  • a mom
  • a daughter
  • a sister
  • a lover and a fighter
  • shy
  • introvert who blossomed into an extroverted introvert
  • a daily exerciser
  • a Registered Dietitian
  • business owner
  • coffee lover (not a connoisseur)
  • wine lover (again, not a connoisseur)
  • Southern gal, with some midwestern influence
  • dreamer
  • procrastinator
  • self-sabotager
  • Number 6 on the Enneagram
  • worrier, worst case scenario thinker
  • changing my world one day at a timer

That’s cool and all, but what will I talk about??

As you can imagine, the easiest things for us to talk about or have thoughts about is the things we know.  I know about a few things, particularly what it takes to blossom into a less awkward, ok-I-mean-happy-with-myself kind of gal. From low self-esteem, low confidence, shy, quiet, rule following, Groundhog-my-days through life place, to the place I am now…it’s been a journey. Sometimes hard. Sometimes not. Definitely not as hard as it could be, but in my mind, worth sharing …even if it’s only with the one person out there who needs it.

But #thisisme

and there is more to come.

Confidence, Introvert

No apology needed

smithmandyjordan

I used to apologize for myself a lot.

Honestly…I still do. #workinprogress

So this is how it will start – I literally hate texting, typing with my thumbs. This blog is a small attempt to be better. It will hopefully inspire you, too, as well. I will provide content…relevant to you? Maybe? Maybe not? But thanks for coming along and no hard feelings if this is as far as you get. #loveyouanyway

I wrote SO much as a kid, teen and young adult. It was my way, the thing I knew how to do. The way I released. But then typing came. Computers? Cool.  Cell phones?! WAIT UP? And things you can hold in your hand and text on?? Digital notes?! WHOOOOAAAAA!

Yeah, Whoa there stallion. That’s when I stopped. Instead of journaling, writing my feelings, I started scrolling. Pictures are pretty. Learning about others in teeny bite size posts was like total ADD for the social world and it was fun, mindless.

But I woke up a few years ago realizing I lost it. I’d lost my mind. I’d lost the use of creativity. (Except for that very brief year or so when I had “blogspot” and wrote about having babies. Well, really just baby #1…cause after that, babies only get the leftovers….that counts, right?)

I woke up. And I had not written in free-flowing form in YEARS. I began trying.  I did the gratitude journal thing, the Five Minute journal thing, then I even started a blog…and did not complete a full post in the first full year of paying for some host site.

But now. If I don’t get these thoughts out…then no one hears them…even me. So if it’s just for me. Cool! I’m good with that. If it’s for me and a few friends, totally cool with that too. Me and a few million friends…then holy hell!

I’ve been so busy “hustling” and “Mom-ing” and “wife-ing” that I forgot to keep dreaming and inspiring myself to make life more. I was made for more and I know it to be true…for me AND for you.

So here. Here it goes. Me, you. Or just me. But either way…I’m getting this stuff out. Maybe it helps one person, maybe someone finds it funny or entertaining, or inspiring or just plain whack. I’m in.

Confidence, personal development

Taking Chances Can Change You

smithmandyjordan

So, here it goes. Post #3.

That means I’m really doing this?! if I made it past post #2?? LOL. Patting myself on the back for making it here…becuase after the idea festered for over a year, and then writing post 1…I had NO IDEA how to logically and gracefully let this progress the way I dreamed up in my head. I had a goal. but no plan. And I’m going to leave it that way for now. This is the ONE time in life, I’m NOT going to live by the fact that when you set goals, you need to then have a plan. NOW, this may not be the way other bloggers or educators or influencers would tell you to do it, but it’s how I am. Because if I didn’t JUST START…then I never would have made it to blog post #3. I would have “planned” for the rest of my days. BUT – I want to make note of something here – something I once heard Gary V. state…(paraphrased) “Life is long.” I don’t want to talk about this flippantly here because I know that most of us know someone who’s life was WAY too short. But if you’re reading this…then Life is too long to NOT do what you dream of doing. Too long to spend life planning and not doing. Too long to talk about it. Too long to hope for it. To LONG to waste just dreaming.

So why do we do this? Why do we sit around hoping and dreaming about how we life to be “when we grow up,” or when we “get that great paying job,” etc. Why do we say we’ll start that new side gig, a blog, a YouTube channel, or your own company when the timing is right? Give me ONE good argument how you know that time will come? Then give me one good argument about how everything is guaranteed to be different then.

You can’t.

I put off blogging for over 2 years, and am still putting off the vlogging thing.  WHY?

Laziness?

Fear?

Most likely the latter, right? 

Fear holds us back from SO many things in life…and I’ve literally spent the last 20 yrs of my life working to overcome fears. 

1st fear: being shy.  

2nd fear: being seen and being flawed – I’m your atypical?? perfectionist. In my head and in turn, my anxieties, I want and have NEEDED to be perfect most of my life, but in my actions…I’m a procrastinator, have been lazy in cleaning, lazy in lots of things actually, 

So…here we are.

Take the first step.

Do the thing.

Do it now.

Figure it out as you go.